Junglicious...

What follows is an account of our time in the primary sub-tropical forest in the Las Piedras region of Madre de Dios (loosely translated as HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, WHERE AM I?). I have transcribed the journal that I kept during our time there - I was barely able to convince my Chinese ballpoint pen (a Dong-A Anyball, bought for its name, not its ability to write) to work in the extreme humidity. I follow each day's entry with some posterior editorial comments, since many of my original thoughts have changed somewhat, seasoned by near-death experiences.

We flew from Cusco to Puerto Maldonado - a town about 3600M lower and 30 degrees hotter. Stepping off of the plane was like walking into a swamp factory. The air was very hot, very humid, and full of the smells of life. We took a tricycle taxi into town, checked in to the second dingiest hotel we could find, and prepared for an early-morning departure down the river. This is where my journal begins...

DAY 1: In Puerto Maldonado met the group and drove over bumpy dusty roads to the point where the Las Piedras river meets the Madre de Dios river. Got on the boat, a 20 ft. canoe with peque-peque (16HP Briggs & Stratton lawnmower engine with a 6 ft. propeller shaft coaxial with the flywheel), and started up the river. Saw capuchin monkeys, many shorebirds (egrets, herons, tropical kingbirds, toucans, kiskadees etc.), and caimans hanging out on beaches. The caimans were surprisingly pale. Also saw a small anteater (called a tamandua) swimming across the river and climbing the bank. Camped on a sandy beach and ate pasta around two candles plunged into the sand. Beautiful stars - clear milky way. Very humid.

The boat ride was long and hot, but we didn't mind because this was our first foray into the jungle, end everything was new and exciting. We saw a big group of Hoatzin birds. They look and act like dinosaurs. There were 10 of us on the boat:
Emma - English expat owner/manager of Tambopata Expeditions, and their research station where we'd be staying for two weeks.
Pico - Boatman and general repairman/babysitter/jack-of-all-trades.
Allan (aka Chito) - Brother of Pico (and 11 other brothers), naturalist and guide.
Joseph - 2.5 yr-old son of Emma (with J.J., another of the 11 brothers of Chito and Pico).
Thor - Calgarian ecology student, and all-purpose snake-wrangler.
Dan - English biochemist and crack nature photographer.
Christina - American University student, Spanish language and resource management expert.
Peter - Irish zoology student, collector of surpassingly unlikely factoids, and full-time performance artist.
Neil and Jen - Jungle neophytes and snake-charmers both.

Day 2: Packed up and were gone by 6:30 AM. Another 6 hrs. to the station by boat. Passed illegal loggers with full loads of hardwood. They selectively log on other peoples' land. Saw a Harpy Eagle perched in a high treetop. They are rare and powerful. Arrived at the station at 2PM and moved into our room. Went to Pico's house at 4:30PM and saw toucans, piping guans, curassows and met Loulou, a resident juvenile giant anteater that is being nursed back to health at the station. She was found abandoned by the next neighbour down the river. Ate rice and canned tuna, tomato, cheese concoction for dinner, read, and went to bed under mosquito nets.

Jen had fun feeding Loulou... with Mobil Delvac 1450P. The dinner was good. Don't let the canned tuna fool you. Emma cooked for us that night, though usually on "work days" of volunteering cooking chores were divided among the six volunteers. Poor Emma did more than her share; Jen and I pitched in as much as we could. The rooms were very comfortable and nice, without screens, so mosquito nets were a must. Although in that season the sand-flies were much worse than the mozzies, and left small red itchy spots all over our ankles and wrists from the boat ride. This was only the beginning of the bug pain.

Day 3: Went for a group walk in the morning and heard and smelled peccaries. Very loud nut cracking noises, grunting from adults, wretching from juveniles, and indescribably musky odours accompanied them. Very angry grunts from adults when they thought we were too close. It was a group of 40-50. Everyone saw them but me, because I thought peccaries were monkeys! Lazy afternoon, swimming, reading etc.

Okay, so now I know that peccaries are wild pigs. I had a very long private laugh with Jen about this during the walk back to the station. Imagine me saying to Jen: "I didn't see a single peccary monkey! Where in the trees were they exactly?" Anyway, having a group of 40-50 of really smelly, loud, angry wild animals within a couple of meters of you in dense jungle is extremely exciting, especially when you think they're monkeys. We also saw a Caecilian that night, which is a legless blind amphibian. It looks like a millipede without any legs - a zeropede if you will.

Day 4: Trip to macaw lick, another walk, fishing in the afternoon with Pico, who has a severe limp resulting from a logging accident when he was a teenager which damaged his spinal cord. He took us in to the opposite bank of the river. We found nut casings, cut them open with a machete, and pulled out half-inch grubs from their insides. Every nut casing had 1-2 grubs! Then these grubs were used as bait to catch small fish in small pools in the low streams. Then these little fish were cut into small pieces which were put on hooks and used to catch larger fish! Rods were made from pintana wood. Everyone (Thor, Peter, Dan, Pico, me) caught a few fish. Pico got a big one with primordial triangular teeth.

Fishing was really fun. I love the "climbing the ladder" approach with bait. Pico was the only guy who ever caught anything worth eating... and Chito sometimes. We had to bushwhack a bit to get there. It was pretty fun. Peter grabbed a spiny tree and swore a lot. Thor and I were bitten 3 or 4 times by fire ants. Their stings are very painful and persistent. Now I can say I was bitten by fire ants. The personalities of the various volunteers and guides were slowly coming into focus by this time. They're all a bunch of crazy maniacs.

Day 5: First day of "work". I went out on a 5km "transect" (trail upon which one observes and documents animals) with Emma starting at 5:45AM. Saw many saddleback tamarins, dusky titi monkeys, capuchins, a yellow-footed tortoise, guans, Saki monkeys, and heard and smelled more peccaries. Got back at 11AM very tired and had a lazy afternoon. Jen did the first macaw lick shift with Christina and saw them feeding. At night we went out to the swamp and walked around in it with gum-boots (or Wellies, as everybody seemed to call them). Found tree frogs and many huge spiders. Also, a common whipsnake was up in the top of a sapling. ut my snake stick out and it crawled down towards me. I moved my other hand to the back of the stick and it jumped off and ran away. Initially Emma thought it was a vine snake, which is a bit venomous. But it wasn't one.

Transects required walking really slowly and quietly through the jungle for 4 hours. Doing them was extremely hard work. The swamp was extremely awesome. I love swamps, so to be walking around in one surrounded by all the critters I longed to meet as a kid was a dream come true. The spiders were spine-chilling. The snake photo (taken by Thor with his wicked Nikon F80) pretty much says it all... NB, at the time the photo was taken, we still thought this was a slightly venomous vine snake. Otherwise I would have had a cocky sneer on my face while giving the snake the finger. The snake stick was a converted 9-iron.

Day 6: Late macaw shift with Jen. Got up early (5:30AM) and went for a long walk alone, which was awesome. Heard red howler monkeys, which make a very eerie windy howling noise. Approached them and saw two groups of about 3 monkeys each. One was totally asleep lying on a 4" diameter branch. Another hung from his two legs and tail, then only his tail (!) to reach some succulent leaves below. Saw a bunch more tamarins, and heard/smelled more peccaries. Late macaw shift with Jen didn't yield anything interesting. Played Scrabble, won 320-220, on a wicked UK travel Scrabble board missing its J and five other letters. Went for a walk to the farm with Jen in the afternoon and saw a chacha (or something...roosting bird). We cooked tons of food today too. Veggie burgers, and Jen baked oatmeal cookies. Went to bed while the other group went for a night walk and found an AMAZON BUSHMASTER snake (very venomous and dangerous) and took 1000000 photos of it.

Walking alone was great. Being so much quieter and going at one's own pace generally means better wildlife viewing. Both Jen and I found it really hard to see animals in the bush though... the guides Emma and Chito had a supernatural ability to spot wildlife. They were constantly pointing things out that we would have walked right by.

Day 7: I did the early macaw shift with Peter, who is "especially autistic" (according to my own advanced system of diagnosis); he loves really weird shit and talking about it. Incapable of doing anything the standard/normal way, loves tasting hot peppers and creating inedible salsas with them. We didn't see any macaws feeding but had great conversations. Macaws were just hanging out in the bushes above the lick. In the afternoon, we hoisted Dan, Christina, and Peter up to a 30M observation platform. It was dusk and we were all a bit stressed. Hard work getting them up there. Then the water pumping system fucked up, and I helped Chito and Pico fix it. A misthreaded 2" PVC coupling broke. The broken pipe managed to ascertain my exact location and sprayed me with a high-pressure water beam for about 10 seconds before Chito had the presence of mind to kill the peque-peque connected to the pump head. We put in a replacement part, updated the priming method, and made it work after many gruelling trips up and down the hill from the pump. Went to bed really tired, but not before Pico found a rainbow boa in the undergrowth. A beautiful and fairly docile snake. We took photos (see photo at right) and Thor poked it to make it angry in order to increase the drama in the photos.

Sorry for the diagnosis Peter... first impressions and all that - but now, having gotten to know you better, I know that apologies won't register, and that you know that I know that you know that it's a compliment of the highest order. The key to the problem with the pump was actually the priming method. Emma had told the menfolk repeatedly how to prime the pump properly, but they ignored her. Eventually, after all hope had been abandoned and parts had been broken and replaced, they took her advice and the water flowed like... water, filling the 1000 litre tank perched above the kitchen. Emma 1 - Menfolk 0. The cumulative score is probably about Emma 87 - Menfok 4.

Day 8: No shifts. Woke up and drank coffee. Went to very refreshing waterfalls with the whole group. Quiet day.

"Quiet day" means "awesome wildlife everywhere"; we got used to the constant presence of giant insects, colourful birds, sweatiness, and indescribable jungle odours. These waterfalls were great. The big ones could really pound you. During swimming events like this one, about 80% of the conversation surrounded the famous candirú (or "urethra fish" as we came to call it) which can supposedly smell your urine (if you should happen to have such a substance leave your urethra while swimming, heaven forbid), find your urethra, and swim up it! They are barbed, and need to be removed surgically. Fact or fiction?

Day 9: Early macaw shift with Jen. Saw tons of macaws feeding on the lick, like, 20. Took a few good photos through binoculars. Got back and cooked quinoa for lunch, with fried plantains. Went fishing with Jen, Chito and Pico upriver. It was really fun but low on fish. Got back , went for a walk before dinner with Jen and Peter, and saw capuchin monkeys . Went for an evening boat ride to see caimans. Saw some small ones, and I picked up a weird little turtle from the beach. A fun night! Jen, Emma and I may have seen an ocelot! We saw the eyeshine (reflected light from the retinae of nocturnal beasts), and it seemed to behave more or less like a cat. The other guys (Peter, Dan, Thor) went out and saw a few snakes; vine snakes and swamp snakes.

I hope we saw an ocelot, but then, isn't it enough to just believe that we saw it? Wildlife viewing is funny that way. Like baseball games, it can be a more complete experience when watched on TV in your living room, complete with expert commentary and state-of-the-art camera work. The photo at right is the rainbow boa.

Day 10: I did transect "C" with Chito. Saw a very nice red brocket deer on the trail, while a bunch of curassows hung out in the background. Also saw a nice group of Saki monkeys with an infant! And spider monkeys. Jen did transect "A" with Emma, saw a single red howler monkey, and he didn't see her for about 5 minutes. He was in the sun and very bright. When he did see her, he ran through the branches above her and tried to shit on her head, without success. Had a long nap and played Texas Hold'em with Chito + Jen before dinner. Used uncooked beans as stakes. Played Euchre after dinner with Thor as my partner vs. Jen and Christina. We won 10-9.

And we though bird shit was bad. Note that I only report the outcome of competitive games when I am the victor. On a related note, with wildlife on the brain and in fairly good Scrabble form, I spelled MEERKAT covering two double-word scores. That was a very proud Scrabble moment, and I'd like to dedicate it to my dear friend Erich Gerner, whose dreams of placing such words paralyze him utterly during game-play.

Day 11: Late macaws with Jen. She has a diseased belly-button but it's getting better. Very few macaws on the lick. Made borscht early in order to go to the mammal colpa for overnight viewing with Peter, Jen, and Chito, but the battery for the searchlight wasn't charged, so we didn't go, and will go tomorrow instead. Christina and Emma saw two huge groups of peccaries today. Was planning to go to the swamp, but instead went down the path to transect "A" to try to find the AMAZON BUSHMASTER, and FOUND IT!!! Big head, very dangerous (see photo above); coiled up and waiting for rats to wander by. We checked him out for a while (Dan, Peter, Thor, me), then went walking up a stream. Saw a few 3 ft. caimans... Thor jumped one and caught it. We stumbled along for about 1.5 hrs. expecting to come out at the pumping station but didn't find it, so we turned around and trudged back. It was a hot, wet, sweaty, and generally frightening walking back. Arrived at the station at 11:3oPM and went straight to bed.

11:30PM is extremly late by jungle standards. That walk was hilarious though. There were interesting group dynamics, a fair amount of cursing and swearing, a lot of getting wet things thrust against your face and body, and swampy water slowly filling your boots. The bushmaster was something else again; visiting it first, and bushwhacking through moist and dense areas second was probably not the wisest decision from a psychological standpoint, but it added tremendously to the pageantry of the event.

Day 12: Got up early and went out with the menfolk to clear a trail with machetes. Took it upon myself to sharpen them with stone and water first. They were made keen and deadly. Lots of hacking was done. Developed wicked blisters on my right hand. Then made lunch and burned my foot with pasta water, then lodged cooked egg under my thumbnail, which totally killed. Bad health day! Packed a dinner and went out to the mammal colpa with Peter, Jen and Chito. Ate dinner at 6PM in the colpa and went to bed right after. Woke up at 1:30AM and didn't see any mammals. We hung out for a while longer checking for mammals every 5 minutes, but saw nothing. Very weird experience, sleeping under 4 mosquito nets, having demented dreams. Jen had dreams about seeing tigers, jaguars, all manner of jungle cats at the colpa, and also dreamt that I murdered a child (!!!) in a house owned by an old Italian lady, and strangled me when she found out I did it.

The mammal colpa experience was really bizzare. First of all, a colpa is a naturally occurring mineral lick where animals go to replenish their minerals, especially salts, which neutralize toxins from vegetation (or something like that - the jury is still out, apparently). The research station has built a wooden platform overlooking a colpa where mammals supposedly come to lick. We didn't see any. But going to bed at 6PM and waking up in the middle of the night and having to remain totally silent to look for mammals is kind of fun. Well, I thought so. Jen was psychologically unhinged for some days following. Chalk it up to jungle experience, I say.

Day 13: Awoke at the colpa and walked back before breakfast. Ate Mr. Noodles for breakfast. Went down to the garden and planted veggies. Very hard work. Came up for lunch and ate, then packed our bags. Went swimming at the waterfalls again and saw a dead rat at the foot of the large falls, proving Peter's theory that one should be careful standing under waterfalls! Saw a beautiful kingfisher on the way back.

And that was the last entry. At this point the writing gets really small, shaky, faint, and then it just trails off...

The boat trip back was faster as we were going with the current. We spent the next day wandering around Puerto Maldonado, or just Puerto as the locals call it, and visited an animal sanctuary with Thor. It was interesting to see the beasties up close, in particular the peccary monkeys, and other assorted monkeys, but unfortunately a lot of them were sick with unknown illnesses and were on their way out. We ate at an outdoor barbecue place and had Pacú again (see Buenos Aires chapter concerning fatty fish), but this time it didn't cost $28!

Doing the jungle justice is really hard, but hopefully the pictures and the general craziness exuding from the journal entries above will help. It's not a place for the faint of heart... but it has changed the way I think about wilderness. In places like Las Piedras the contrast between the astounding biodiversity and the factors serving to erase it (oil exploration, illegal logging, etc.) is unmistakeable and stomach-turning. These places are being destroyed. They can't be replaced. These are clichés until you see them acted out first-hand.

We got on a plane to Lima and kissed Madre de Dios goodbye. We both loved it, and would go back in a second to exactly the same place, with exactly the same people! Emma, J.J., Chito and Pico have their hearts and their heads in just the right places.